“Friction is the psychological force that resists change…We tend to dramatically underestimate the power of these frictions.” — Loran Nordgren, the Kellogg School of Management[1]

What is stopping you from moving forward?

You show great motivation to learn a language. However, you are unable to accomplish the tasks you set for yourself to achieve your goals more quickly, such as watching programs in the language learned or reviewing new vocabulary daily. Maybe you underestimate the power of friction.

What is friction?

It is important to understand that the greater the desired change in our habits, the greater the friction. It is this friction that will stop you in your tracks from taking concrete action to continue your learning. In some cases, this resistance can be emotional: your motivation is high, but the process is draining you.

What can we do then?

1. To decrease the resistance, it is imperative to find the cause of the friction. Ask yourself the following question: “What is bothersome when you are trying to accomplish a task?” Let’s take the example of Marie who had promised herself that she would memorize her vocabulary for 5 minutes every day, but who had not succeeded. She formulates the following question: “What is irritating me when I want to review my vocabulary?”

2. The answer to your question must be clearly worded. For example, Marie answered the following: “What irritates me is that my vocabulary lists are not grouped together and that it takes me time to sort them out before studying.”
3. We must take concrete action to reduce friction as much as possible. Marie decides to take 30 minutes to gather her vocabulary lists in the same folder and she puts it in an easily accessible place. At the same time, she decides to copy everything into a file deposited in a cloud in order to have access to it anywhere, anytime.

The negative is stronger than the positive

To eliminate resistance is to reduce the negative. And believe it or not, a single negative element weighs more heavily on the scale than a positive element. Think of that last dinner at the restaurant where everything was perfect until the waiter spilled coffee on you. What memories do you have of this dinner? A positive memory or a negative memory?

[1] Newletter de Hidden Brain, le 4 novembre 2021